In a FUNK

ugh I hate when I get into funks!! But it has been that kind of week so far, but today I knew we just had to leave the house!! So we drove so I could think and think and think (ok I am not sure I thought too much, we did sing alot haha)
So why the funk--I have NO idea!! Sometimes I am jealous of people who have all kinds of money to do fun things--Summer is over and what have I done with the kids--NOT MUCH, sure we went to Water World once, the lake a couple times and that is about it :( now summer is almost over...and I feel I failed the kids by doing nothing all summer..
Then we have this great huge money issue--always!! Ian works his ass off, just so we can keep up--no extra to have fun ugh so why do we bother with him being gone so much. 
Maybe I am in a funk cause this single momhood thing is making me crazy!! It is getting sssooo lonely, I used to have a group of kickass friends who were always there--now I feel no one is there at all...Now I know I should feel this way--I am never alone--me and the kids ALL THE TIME! and I try to focus on that, but then I feel I get left out because of the kids (which- why would I want to hang out with anyone who can't take my kids--cause believe me they are better behaved than alot of kids I see)
But mainly is always comes back to money--why do some people get it handed to them and others have to work their asses off and still not make it..ugh I am trying to do this 31 stuff but some days it seems pointless--no one seems to want to help me out and get out there--so why do I feel I need to help them--I think I need to start the "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours"
we have a trip in December which is stressing me out--plane tickets to get there, money while there, who is going to help with ALL the kids (seems 5 kids is too much for some), then I have to have Christmas all done before we go, I wanna go to Tucson for Thanksgiving to see  my nieces but will that happen--um probably not, I misses a little family reunion, didn't get back to Buhler to see those peeps--ugh ok so it seems I am a little bitter hahah I know I know just getting it all out, maybe it will make me feel better!!!
Ok I am done whining for now hahahah Night all!!!